Rejection

"Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough, it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.

I saw this on tumblr earlier and I hope to feel the same way, to believe that the problem is not me.  

I just got rejected (AGAIN) on an interview. this is funny but sad that I have been through interviews so many times and I always got rejected (I want to cry right now) and its funny, even though I've been through lots of rejections its still hurts. It fvcking HURTS so much every time im having an interview and got rejected. while my batch mates is having a great life and a good Job, I'm still here,stuck, fvcked up,wasted. 

so last Wednesday I had an interview in this soon to open hotel and as I say I got rejected. so there's this guy, the interviewer asked random questions, usually asked through an interview but the thing is, he make it hard, and i don't know why I slightly did not understand him i got blocked or maybe I got shy. Don't get me wrong he's smart, I know he is. and on the last part ( the part when i know that Im rejected) he asked me why I didn't get a job before and I tell him that all my interviews needed a person with experience and I got non, and he tells me that I'm lying, because he said he, himself accepts fresh graduates without experience and he tells me that is because the persons personality, the way that people speak. and he said that I am not confident, that I came there with thoughts of not being good enough. and that moment, that very moment slapped me in the face that maybe he's right, maybe those companies, establishments they're not the problem. its me. I'm the problem I'm not good enough. I'm not beautiful enough, I don't have the good looks, body and maybe I'm not smart enough. Gosh I hate myself, I hate myself for not being good enough.

I failed myself again, and most especially I failed my parents, I failed my Family. I'm so sorry that I am such a failure. I'm sorry for being this way. I'm sorry coz I'm not good enough. I'm sorry because I always fail you. I'm such a failure, I'm such a loser.

and it hurts to know that you're not good enough. sometimes I'm losing faith, maybe stopped believing in my self.

I still want to believe him. I still want to know his purpose for me. and I know he has great plans for me.