Escape

The reason why I stay up too late is mainly because I don't want to over think too much, 

like, How I did earlier, the last time, yesterday and even in the past, like how I was as a person, and my failures. And those thoughts keeps on haunting me every single night. And I always ends up crying, like TONS! hate being exhausted.

I feel kinda depress right now, actually always. I easily got depress over some stupids things, cliche things, that even you if you will know what are those stupid and cliche reasons why I got depress, I know you'll laugh at me. and I, myself,don't even know why. 

whenever I'm on my bed and thinking about things, the past, when I'm alone and can't fall asleep,  everyone were asleep all the things that makes me sad and depress flashbacks and It just hurts so bad. So bad that I have to release it, to cry until I got tired.

So to keep that from happening, I stay up late, so when I was really really sleepy and when I close my eyes and that's it. 

****

Though no one can really avoid it. staying up late is just one of our escape from this particular time but the truth is no one can avoid it. and we have to face it eventually, maybe not now but eventually there will come a time that we'll going to cry and release the pains and it felt good because after that you'll get tired and falls asleep.

PS. 

crying makes you feel better, that's true. but what I'm experiencing right now is not healthy, co'z I was like crying for about three nights. 

(just saying)