Reminisce

before February Ends 

THROW BACK 

3rd Year high School

4th year High school

This is me during our JS Prom when im in junior and senior year in high school.

the experience was great, not because of the "typical prom thing" oopps!

i said it because, my prom was like a ... i cant explain, its great because it only happens twice in your life

so its a great experience.

oh wait i said that my prom in not the typical prom thing because i don't have a escort, date, or a partner. 3rd and 4th year js prom. nobody ask me to his date or whatever, oh there is someone ask me to be his partner i remember my classmate on my 4th year he ask me, but i think i just said that "i dont know" because

 i really don't know how to say the proper thing in proper way. days later he said that he already has a partner and it was like this "Auree, may partner ka na?" he said . I said,"wala pa" and he said "ako meron na, ikaw kasi eh ayaw mo, tuloy ako dalawa dalawa partner ko" and i was like (wow, kasalanan ko pa ngayon?)  

that moment when they are practicing for cotillion and your just watching behind haha.

so going on,  nobody gives me a flower (actually, i never accept a flower in my whole life), or chocolates, nobody escorts me in our house like that. i dance once in 3rd year with one of the smartest guy in school, active student in our school, my first dance, we have a picture but i deleted it because my siblings teases me so i delete it, he's cute, and that moment i kinda like him but not that much, we dance when the song is "right here waiting for you" haha we talk but not that much, he's the only one i dance 4th year high school  i don't dance,just with my best friends.

Actually me and my friends dont have dates haha but its okay with us we just dance like crazy, laugh like  crazy, and eat haha

eat 

though I dont have a date or partner in our JS Prom its still a great experince, because its MEMORY!

me, cacay, VAne and boninay

me and my friend Cris

me and Cris

Again (laban pose)

cacay and me, i laugh at this picture because of my face i  was like "grr, i will punch you in face"

me and boninay

cacay, me, and boninay

BIG SMILE for you!

were TIRED

WACKY!
me, boninay, cacay and vanessa

me, boninay, cacay and vanessa

Molo, Cristyl, Me, Vane, Cacay and boninay

CLOSE UP
thats scar from  under my eye its from my chicken fox 

cacay, vane, boninay and me

BIG SMILE again

3rd year

Boninay and me 

haha Bata bata haha edit edit

. . .

Pogi Pose with Cris

simple pose



thats all thank you

Just Go With The Flow

Lately I've realized to just go with the flow...

I have this teacher, and i had a crush on him since july 2012, and yeah before I knew that he is already married with two kids i fall too hard and crash too hard, and it was like im excited to go to school because of him, and im eager to study at his subject though its hard because its math (unfortunately i didn't)but  i really try hard, one of my team song for him was "Siguro" by yeang constantino the music video was fit to my situation haha she is inlove with her prof. too haha yeng is really a good composer, so that song has a lyrics of "ayokong magmukang tanga sayo" but i do look like a fool on him tsk.. and that feeling stops when he gave me a conditional grade on our finals which is October that year, i got mad at him like really mad at him, and its just so weird because my feeling is automatically gone after he gave me my classcard. i think its because of hatred, though he still passed me but of course with condition of taking the exam but, we (together with my other classmates) ask him to just give a project, and he agreed, well after all he still has a good heart.

and so.. November, December until second week of  January, no feelings at all. But because of school, because of every school days I see him I didn't  realize that, the feeling comes back, that stupid feelings of mine comes back.

I had this thing on my mind two (2) weeks ago"that i have to start to stop liking him" (haha that was complicated). that is monday, and that morning I dreamed of him but i must not be affected with it, and I must not see him that day, and we past through their building (to their office) and im like "yes im safe" but when we are walking (still together with my classmates) i saw him. tsk that was bad. after that i always see him like "ALWAYS" .

And im asking why? why when when im starting to stop liking him, why does he always shows up? why does  everytime i see him that "kilig factor" always in me. and Im thinking maybe because its God's "Challenge'' for me if I can stop my feeling even though i always see him . Or maybe God just wants me realize that i can't do it, I mean to " Just Go With The flow'' if I like him, Then i like him so what I just like him, i just have a crush on him and i know my limitations.

That feeling when you are trying to stop you heart from liking someone, its hard. and I cant help myself . that feeling even if the guy you like is not talking to you, even if that guy and you don't have a conversation to remember, even if that guy didn't know your name (except maybe i'm just familiar because i became his student) but still i dont think. even if the guy you like did not ever notice you, and did not even know you exist.

"Its Hard to love, especially when your the Only one that gives love"

neks nemen .

but now  "I realized to just Go with the flow"

If i like him, then i like him.  I don't need to stop my heart from liking someone , and im not doing anything wrong, its not bad to like someone, except from the fact that he's already married with two kids. But all in all its not wrong, I mean Im not seducing him Or anything like that,he dont know my name, he doesn't even know that i like him, and im not planning to tell him that i like him like never ever. he will never know that i have a feeling towards him. I'll just keep it, and im happy with it, so why do i have to be bothered.

In time I know this feeling will go away, maybe not for now, but  in time, for now i just keep him as my inspiration. :)

                                                             

haha this GIF is cute 

                                                               

#IWishICould

#IWishIcould is now trending in Twitter

So I have to say I wish I could wear shorts, Skirts, dress haha  im being ridiculous again. but it's real, i Have a lot of scars so im stuck with jeans (but i love wearing jeans and im comfortable with it) but sometimes i wish i could wear those kind of clothes, i envy those other girls, coz' they could wear everything and anything they want because they have a lovely legs but me?! I have to wear stockings whenever i go to school i never go to school without stockings, my classmates always teased me because i always wear it, and im like its okay, and i have to pretend that its okay, but inside it tears my heart while they are happy teasing me im dying inside. but i have to be strong and i just give them i smilling face. when i get invited from a debut which we have to wear a dress i have to put a lot of foundation on my legs ( well it work a bit). (hiyang hiya ako sa mga ganong okasyon napaka rami na)

maybe.. i mean i know thats the reason why im like this. my scars are the reasons why im a boyish. 

i need to be strong so no one can just step on me, being like a boy is like being strong. me like this is a good thing, whenever i got insulted by my classmates,for boys  i punch them in "their" arms its not just one but they are i think three of them, and the others are gay, there are some girls. but they just do it for fun, i dont take it seriously, but sometimes it hurts me :(

can someone  love a girl with  lots of scars? i think NO ONE, this is just one of the MANY REASON why theres no one likes me, well it's okay im not really expecting someone will like me (im used to it) in my whole life no one tells me or confess to me that they like me. NO ONE . you know boys wants sexy girls, beautiful legs, beautiful girls. and thats not me!!! and its okay. right, i really dont care though sometimes i ask, but i swear right now i dont need it, to be loved by GOD is very much comforting, and thats what everybody needs.

 . i think im going to be an OLD MAID, i just dont see myself having a boyfriend or being in a relationship, yes I do daydream every body do it, but whenever i do it, i dont use my face instead im using beautiful persons like celebrities like that (and ofcourse I have beautiful skin), but me imagining with someone is like ehh, im like childish, boyish im really makulit, erhhh imagine me having a "love quarrel  with a guy, or cuddle with,i really can't  so I can't Picture out myself doing what a lady do and what is like to be in a relationship.

but of course if i would have a chance i would do it, i will dress up like a girl confidently, i would wear shorts and skirts outside if i would have a chance.

i dont want to get my hopes up regarding this situation, because i might get hurt in the end if this will not going to happen, but i think i have to,not to hurt my feelings  but to build up my confidence.

and

i wish i could, i wish i could wear that 

someday :)

Adventure Kit's!

since I always feel so Alone, and i have to be happy even when Im alone i have to be prepare for it.




here are the list of things that i have to bring whenever im on an adventure haha..

I love black chucks and im comfortable wearing it so ....

I Wear everything im comfortable with.
i just like to pair my white shirt and black pants haha

I always need this everywhere i love listening to music esp. when im alone :)

powder to stay fresh haha

My fave. back pack ever haha

I must have money everywhere i go.

Since water is my favorite beverage in all time i Always have my Tumbler on my Bagpack, i always get turst haha

so those are the list of my adventure kit. that i must and have to bring. but i dont have a camera on my own ( i have to save money, so i can buy my camera!), and a cup (for invisible me) so no one will notice me. haha

10 days to go :(

10 days to go before my birthday :(

can i be 18 forever?


i have this weird imagination of being a vampire, you know road trip, travel anywhere, long road, beach, night drive, even without someone, you can do that all by yourself without getting in danger, or kill by bad humans out there, kidnappers, holdapers you know those things, i mean you know this generation many people get killed by those people, but if your a vampire you can defend yourself, THE MOVES!!! cool fighting scenes, special powers, and in the end your the one who's going to win haha (and take note you will never get old haha)

well that was just my imagination.
i think i envy bella, edward, rosalie, alice, jasper, emmett, charlisle, esme, jane and all the vampires in twilight because of their powers, skills, and ofcourse their age haha.


i really don't want to grow up, i don't want to grow old, I  fear of getting old, but yes all of us will get old sooner. we can't stay and stick with this, we have to grow up and learn from it...


"age is just a number and young is in attitude"


everybody will die, and i know i have a place on heaven :)

GIRL mode

and....

we have our project in front office management, a video which we have to reserve a room for a guest (BTW im now in third year college Hospitality management student at Palawan State University)

so, i have to put a little make up, dress like a girl, a real girl (i mean i'm a girl but, i'm not really like that) so moving on.... and act like a girl :)

my video its kinda mess haha 

Be confident REMEMBER?

bathroom picture

sorry for my face :D

BTW the blouse i'm wearing is not mine, its my mother's, i dont have that kind of blouse, just tshirt, simple blouse, my other clothes is from my brother's (kuya's) closet i just ask them to give to me, and they agree sometimes i give them money to pay for their clothes haha i dont know i just envy their clothes .

2013 - 1/365

New YEAR!
New Day!
New Beggining
Expecting new friends

so yeah, im starting my new year with GOOD VIBES. smile all the way :)


ehem. Remember when i told you i will  be or i have to be confident in taking picture of myself so, this! i really need to be confident, i need MEMORIES :)

me and inang  (smile) :)

nakasimangot hehe

i really dont know?

original

Edited!!!

BLUR!  haha i lurv it (tumblr DP)

if there's no one to count on (except GOD, he's always there) i have myself always :)