You know Nothing

xxx

I've been busy doing project's since half of the semester is done. One of our projects are writing poems. actually I like that project even though it made us like ehh. our instructor tell's us to make a portfolio which we have to make our own composition, own essay about love, vision, and journey. own poem's about love vision and journey. and some things.

The story behind this poem is my typical story when I have a crush on someone, how I like them but they don't know it, How I was deeply hmm but they have no Idea I was feeling that way. the way of me being so shallow.

If you look closely There are some hidden letter's in it. The hidden letter's are my inspiration doing this poem, I know I already said that I'm over him already but because he is my last crush, this poem is inspired by him. Is just that I really don't know what to write so I search something or someone to inspire me.

 so this is it, I have no regret doing this inspired by him because the outcome of the poem was good.

P.S

I am over him I promise.

And also one of my wish list granted, to write more poem's/poetry 

Clarifying Things

Stalking my ex "CRUSH"

NOT REALLY INTENTIONAL just CLARIFYING THINGS.

or

INTENTIONALLY in a way of CLARIFYING THINGS.

(complicated)

Remember when I say "JUST GO WITH THE FLOW" ?

Yes I go with the flow, I don't Fight things that happened or will happen, I just Go with it, I just go with the things that will happen.

I stalk sir's Facebook and saw Bunch of pictures of him with his family, and I was like Okay and I'm not really Bitter. I feel This thing A month Ago, I just don't Accept it, or I just Ignored it. not really because I want sir so much that's why I Ignored it, but because I'm not so sure if it's true, because it happens not just once, not twice but trice.  I'm telling myself that I don't like him
anymore but then It comes back, And I look like stupid every time it happens. So to be sure about it I let my feelings or my heart  go go with it, to clarify things (naks haha) .

and then It just happened .

I thank God, for loving me, and for giving me patience.

Thank you for letting me, be inspired.

I just GO WITH THE FLOW

I just go with my feeling and then I lost it, But I feel free.

with it.


P.S
it's just a crush, sorry for being this way, sorry for being emotional.
I am so SHALLOW, i know it.

Summer Class

Yes, Its summer and we have a summer class.

But I'm telling you its not that annoying as what you think it is, I mean summer class just help me to not stay in our house for the whole summer, imagine last summer most of the times I stay in our house and baby sit to my nephew (but I love him) clean the house, do the laundry, cook, do this, do that and everything, and I really did not enjoy that summer . Luckily theres the laptop and ofcourse the internet. they make me happy, me and My bestfriends did not really bond that summer, we see each other for like few days only, 

this summer class just, well its great so far. Our summer class is a Tour subject, not that really a  stressful subject. 

And you know what really make this summer?

After our Class we Go to Our friends House and stay there, relax, Eat, watch movie, play cards, walk, mall, and Laugh and laugh and laugh. its really great to have your friends.

The truth is, This makes my stress away, you know when I'm on our house, Its so stressful for many things, I'm not saying that I hate our house or the people in our house, I love them like So much and family first, But sometimes you know, I have to discover some things, experience new things be happy, to have friends.

of course pictures can't be forgotten :)

this time i post edited pictures that i Edit on befunky.com 

From Left: Alvin, Tintin, Boninay, sheeme and me :)

From Left: Boninay, Me and tintin

From left: Alvin, Tintin, Boninay, And me :)

 from Left: Alvin ( playing his false teeth w/c is kinda gross but we're used to it, he's ding it all the time), boninay, sheeme and me

From left: Boninay, Me and tintin (ice cream from Mcdo)

From left : Alvin, Anna, Tintin, boninay, And Me

Sheeme And Me

From Left : Me, Kazel, tintin, Anna, Rachelle nd Alvin

From left: Alvin, Boninay, Me And Tintin

From Left: Alvin (doing his hidden talent) Boninay, Tintin, Me

Alvin, Boninay, Me and tintin

Alvin, Sheeme Boninay and Me 

haha Alvin's So haha

Alvin's really good at making everyone laugh, you know. he can make people laugh even if he does nothing, he can make people laugh effortlessly,

from left: Alvin, Boninay, Tintin and me

from left: Alvin, Tintin, boninay, And me

Fromleft: Alvin, Tintin, bOninay, shemme and me.

From left: Alvin, tintin, Boninay and me

From left: Alvin, Tintin, Boninay, me and Sheeme

From LEft: Alin, Sheeme, Tintin, Boninay and me

aww not edited :)

and There's one more thing about  Summer Class haha I always saw him, (Sir!) I always saw him smoking, (baby that's bad) haha I Hope that Even if he's now a petroleum Engineer he still teach in our school, and its almost regular school its like 1 and a half month before school starts and first sem the HM first year students have Math2b Class, I hope Sir got that class, or it's okay even if he don't teach HM students but as long as he Still Teach At our school As long as He is still At our School (yes, Im being selfish, but what can i do? i want to see him always, I want Better life or job for him) (Cross fingers)

:)

Just Go With The Flow

Lately I've realized to just go with the flow...

I have this teacher, and i had a crush on him since july 2012, and yeah before I knew that he is already married with two kids i fall too hard and crash too hard, and it was like im excited to go to school because of him, and im eager to study at his subject though its hard because its math (unfortunately i didn't)but  i really try hard, one of my team song for him was "Siguro" by yeang constantino the music video was fit to my situation haha she is inlove with her prof. too haha yeng is really a good composer, so that song has a lyrics of "ayokong magmukang tanga sayo" but i do look like a fool on him tsk.. and that feeling stops when he gave me a conditional grade on our finals which is October that year, i got mad at him like really mad at him, and its just so weird because my feeling is automatically gone after he gave me my classcard. i think its because of hatred, though he still passed me but of course with condition of taking the exam but, we (together with my other classmates) ask him to just give a project, and he agreed, well after all he still has a good heart.

and so.. November, December until second week of  January, no feelings at all. But because of school, because of every school days I see him I didn't  realize that, the feeling comes back, that stupid feelings of mine comes back.

I had this thing on my mind two (2) weeks ago"that i have to start to stop liking him" (haha that was complicated). that is monday, and that morning I dreamed of him but i must not be affected with it, and I must not see him that day, and we past through their building (to their office) and im like "yes im safe" but when we are walking (still together with my classmates) i saw him. tsk that was bad. after that i always see him like "ALWAYS" .

And im asking why? why when when im starting to stop liking him, why does he always shows up? why does  everytime i see him that "kilig factor" always in me. and Im thinking maybe because its God's "Challenge'' for me if I can stop my feeling even though i always see him . Or maybe God just wants me realize that i can't do it, I mean to " Just Go With The flow'' if I like him, Then i like him so what I just like him, i just have a crush on him and i know my limitations.

That feeling when you are trying to stop you heart from liking someone, its hard. and I cant help myself . that feeling even if the guy you like is not talking to you, even if that guy and you don't have a conversation to remember, even if that guy didn't know your name (except maybe i'm just familiar because i became his student) but still i dont think. even if the guy you like did not ever notice you, and did not even know you exist.

"Its Hard to love, especially when your the Only one that gives love"

neks nemen .

but now  "I realized to just Go with the flow"

If i like him, then i like him.  I don't need to stop my heart from liking someone , and im not doing anything wrong, its not bad to like someone, except from the fact that he's already married with two kids. But all in all its not wrong, I mean Im not seducing him Or anything like that,he dont know my name, he doesn't even know that i like him, and im not planning to tell him that i like him like never ever. he will never know that i have a feeling towards him. I'll just keep it, and im happy with it, so why do i have to be bothered.

In time I know this feeling will go away, maybe not for now, but  in time, for now i just keep him as my inspiration. :)

                                                             

haha this GIF is cute 

                                                               

Dreams

he showed up in my dream earlier..

does it mean i want something from him?

that feeling when you see your future with him. haha that's ridiculous,but unfortunately its true :( though its just a crush .damn, it hurts he's already married with two kids.

i'm in pain right now but this feeling will go in time.

makakalimutan ko rin siya, tsaka crush lang naman di pa naman ako umaabot sa punto na aagawin ko siya sa asawa't anak niya, ang pathetic ko naman at ang desperado masyado nun, di naman ako ganong tao na maninira ng buhay ng pamilya. yun nararamdaman ko sakanya eh paghanga lang talaga.

in time pag maalala ko na nag ka gusto ako sakanya matatawa nalang ako, pwede rin maasar ako, madidiri parang "yuck". ganun naman yung literal na nararamdaman ng isang tao pag wala na yung pag ka gusto nito sa taong yun

falling for someone who is already taken

There's nothing wrong to love, as long as you know your limitations.

Whats wrong is, if your doing something to ruin their lives or separate them together.

When we are talking about loving or falling for someone who is already taken.

A lot of people say that "its wrong a millions of level" especially if he or she is already married.

We cannot stop our heart to fall or love, sometimes we fall for the wrong person.

Yes we get hurt, we get heartbreak, but we get a lot and more pain if we continue to love the person who is already taken.

......
Paano kung, bago mo pa nalamang may asawat anak na siya na-Fall ka na?

mas mabuting pigilin mo nalang nararamdaman mo, oo masasaktan ka,pero habang pinag aaralan mo siyang makalimutan yung sakit sa puso mo unti unti rin mawawala.

kesa ipagpatuloy mo, aasa ka, masasaktan. tapos mamahalin mo ulit, masasaktan ka ulit, paulit ulit lang yung sakit. pigilan nalang, kasi sa huli ikaw lang din masasaktan.