Double dead Heart

Okay, I'm done! 

100% Done fangirling!

or NAH! just Kidding.

Remember my P.S on "What Hurts the Most"? blog?

This is what I said "P.S Ashton Irwin, please save me! and please don't date someone, Not right now, because it will hurt me so much"

Well I was kinda late. He's seeing/dating someone now.
well, its not really it's not really that surprising, remember when he is rumored dating Kendall Jenner and Gemma Styles (Harry's Styles' sister)? and he had girlfriend back when they are not that famous .

Don't get me wrong, I"M NOT SAYING THAT HE CAN'T DATE SOMEONE. 'CAUSE IM NOT REALLY IN THE POSITION TO SAY THAT AND WHO AM I TO SAY THOSE THINGS TO HIM. I'M REALLY NO ONE!

I admit, I got sad. But I'm not mad or what.

It's just that, Harry and Ashton are my Two major crush right now, and everybody knows how it hurts seeing your crush with someone right? and I just say that "Not right now" because Harry just broke my baby heart. And I can't stand (maybe) if Ash date  a girl now. 

Well, Applause! because I am alive, breathing and still Kicking! hahaha

Credits to the Owners

This pictures are from Instagram. (not mine)

here are some pictures of Ash with a blond girl

This was all just a rumour. No one proves it. 

No one really have to spread things, Until Ashton say it by Himself.

I still Love and respect Harry and Ashton No matter what.

 His smile.., If he's Happy then I'm Happy for him.

This is soooo sweet :)

I just realized that you can't control someone's emotion, even if they had Millions of fans that doesn't approved Some of their decisions,  And If you are truly a fan, you'll going to accept and love your Idol no matter what. 

I'm not really done fangirling because it's me. I'm always the fan girl (Not the girl) haha

But I'm done Obsessing,  you know my obsession thingy. because its not healthy. 

But I will still support them :)

And who Knows, I might be Ashton or Harry's next Girlfriend right?
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What hurts the most?

I don't know what hurts most, Being in love with a super famous guy who is so much far from you and maybe you'll never get to meet him.

or some guy who is near from you but you can't have him?

though I never felt the second question. I mean I'm just curious, there are girls who falls in love with  her classmate, or his schoolmate, childhood friend or her neighbor who is really near from her but they can't be together.

And me?. having a BIG crush or I guess LOVE towards  a member of a boyband. Is there a difference between the two? or who is much acceptable? 

Maybe the other girl right? being in love with the guy who is near from her. and the fact that you two knew each other, and see's each other, and talked to each other.

though she can't have him. but there's a chance and really acceptable. 

And being in love with a famous guy who is a member of a famous boy band is UN-acceptable for so many people, some may say that it's nonsense, it is cliche  and so stupid. some may say "that guy didn't even know you, he didn't know you exist and you haven't talked to him. and now your telling me that your'e in love with him?"

SAD but true! I don't know why? but I have the feels. 

you know that feeling, the pain you get after seeing him with a girl on the internet? those candid photos of him and the girl he's dating?. when he is rumored and see's dating this girl, that girl? One of the things that hurts is all the girls that hes' dating and he dated is so perf, and flawless and so sexy and beautiful? the feeling when you know you can't be that girl, that you will never be that girl?

you know it? Well it sucks! 

you know what? it will heal in time. they always said that pain is not permanent right? and will pass and it will get better right? 

And the truth is I think their relationship won't last. 

this is Nadine Leopold. Harry and her are rumored dating

This was my very first heartbroken in 2015

 I have a little story:

that day, I saw it on facebook on some article and when I clikcked and read it I cried (the cry joke) and I'm with my 3year old Nephew who knows that I like Harry Styles (well actually what he knows is Harry is my Boyfriend so if you asked him right now who is my Boyfriend he will tell you it's Harry STyles hahahaha)so back to the story I'm crying(the cry joke) saying "Harry Already has a girlfriend. Alex! (my nephews name)harry has a girlfriend!" he slapped me in the face so Hard! maybe he got annoyed hahaha! so thats the story and I know its stupid.

this was taken last january 7,2015 Nadine's Birthday Lunch at Habana in Malibu plus! they also had dinner together with some friends at Nobu in Malibu. plus! harry gave her pink balloons which he's car is filled with those pink balloons while arriving in the venue

what a lucky girl. I always wanted Harry.

 And this was taken yesterday January 22, 2015 this photo is from a fans twitter (@haileybuitrago) which his father taken.

this picture also took yesterday January 22,2015 while Harry and Nadine getting frozen yogurt in LA.

(sad face while typing.)

Those Lucky Girls! the girls that Harry dated. the girls that have the privilege to kiss his smooth, lovely, lips. that one that has the chance to hug his warm body! the girl who has the Privilege to love and be loved by him. 

I always and forever envy those girls.

and right now. at this moment I want to cry. 

How I wish that was me! but it will never be.

I will never be that girl.

I'm just.. And I will always and ONLY be a fangirl.

PS.

Ashton Irwin! please save me! and please don't date someone, not right now!!! it will hurt me so much!!

Being A fan Girl Is not that easy.

I swear, being a fan Girl is not that easy.

you'll know it when you see their posts on their accounts, the pictures, and when watching their videos from youtube, instagram, keek or in any social network out there, you feel that "Butterflies in your tummy" thingy

even the simplest, dumbest, the super non-sense videos they make, makes you laugh, makes you go gaga, make you "kilig". and most of all makes you LOVE them even more.

I really don't know why I'm being this way. like you know, mentally dating boy band/band members. having a relationship with them, but of course they don't know about it. and they doesn't even know you exist. but it feels great and sad at the same time. being a fangirl is like a grenade, makes you feel like your going to blow up anytime, whenever they post cute, cool pictures and videos, whenever they have announcements or anything, even if you won't be able to participate and come to whatever they've announced you can feel your heart skips a bit and get excited.

And also! you know it when your heart breaks into pieces by hearing some rumors about your favorite band/boyband/singer dating someone, and you wishes it was you. but unfortunately it will NEVER be me.

there are exactly 71 days left before the #OnTheRoadAgainTour (One Direction) in Manila, and they are already preparing for their tours as i saw on Instagram. And Exactly 62 days left before the Ed Sheeran in Manila concert. and right now, I'm kinda depressed knowing that I won't be able to watch their concert. and maybe on March 12,2015 and March 21&22 2015, I'm going to cry the whole day and night and I'm going to lock myself in my room and never ever go out until the show and the boys is out in the Philippines, its really depressing and I really envy those other fan girls who will get the chance to watch their concert. ( I really wish I was a rich kid so that wont have to doubt about spending money)

okay, so I already accept the truth and it really hurts, this is my first depression in 2015 and it sucks!.
to One Direction and Ed Sheeran I Love you even if I wont be seeing you on your tour.

PHOTOS ARE NOT MINE!
I don't know if this is the Original poster but..yeah.

 the boys wearing Philippine Jersey

and of course the bae! mah bae :)
my love.


And also I'm fan Girl-ling Over 5 SOS. And even if they're not having a concert or haven't been planning a concert yet in the Philippines, I just want to share my Love for 5SOS ( 5 Seconds of Summer)
 this are not their Most recent photo I just love Ash's hair like this. (yeah I have a thing with the drummer boy)

punk rock band from Australia

from left: Ahston Irwin (Drummer), Calum Hood ( Bassist and NOT ASIAN), Michael Clifford (on Lead Guitars) and Luke (guitars) they All sing like all of them have great voices and participates in their songs.

yeah perfection in one photo. 1D and 5SOS

a little trivia:
-Louis Tomlinson discover 5SOS and 1D decided to take them on tour.
 -5 SOS (five SAUCE not five ES OH ES)
- they are all teenagers ( Im 6 months older than their oldest member witch is Ash :) )
- they are not boy band.



*photo's are not mine*

We found love right where we are

if your a fan of Ed Sheeran or if you Love his new song "Thinking Out Loud" 

I bet you know were the title came from .

The song is about love of course. how they'll love each other 'till the end.

I've been LSS to this song since forever! and its the "most played" song in my phone right now.

Ed Sheeran is really one of the best composer and singer.

and to the girl who inspired this song, she's sooo lucky. I wish it was me ;) haha!

though i heard  that he's dating someone now, no, not just heard I saw the girls instagram and twitter account which proves that Ed and her are dating. shes lucky :) 

She's really pretty and sexy and hot, the kind of girl that every guy would like to date.

here is the music video of "Thingking out Loud" you can watch it Here.

I never thought Ed Sheeran Dance very well, and I think he lose weight.

Plus! Here is the behind the scenes of his music video which his choreographer's says, that Ed wants to dance in his new music video, nobody tells him to, he just wanted to dance. he really worked hard on practicing his steps and I admire him for that. :)

some photos from the music video from youtube :)

GOODNEWS and BADNEWS

Good News! Ed Sheeran is going to have his concert here in the Philippines (Manila) on March 12,2014 and the ticket is cheaper than One Direction's Concert ticket. Ed's VIP ticket price is Half as the VIP ticket of One DIrection. I wish I could watch him live T_T 

and the Bad news is I don't have Money. poor kid here.

 #PoorKidProblem

1D in Manila (ONE DIRECTION INFECTION)

1D in Manila FOR REAL!

this coming March 21, 2015 get your Ovaries ready! haha

They confirmed it through a Video on youtube. but unfortunately when I checked it before writing this, they removed the video due to copyright claim something. But you can read it through Here.

Filipino (Juan) Directioners been wanting this, ever since. And I know right now they're/we still smiling. When I heard it from my friend and read and article about it about (4) Four hours ago (Here) it's like my heart stops for a moment and I can't breathe Literally. I really really want to see them.

No let me rephrase that, I NEED to see them! to feed my fandom HAHA

No seriously, I would Love to see them. Even if not in the VIP. I just want to see them Live, to hear them perform Live. to sing with them. 

But whenever I think of the price of the ticket i just arggg.. How I can I afford it???

I still have no work, and my family is not rich.

BUT this! gives me Motivation, to search for work or to earn money.

but come to think of it,if luckily I have earned money by that time, would you think my conscience would let me sleep by spending money on a concert ticket? yeah I know its a once i a lifetime thing and that's One Direction, not just somebody, but as i have said we're not rich, if i have earned money for a concert ticket, I'd rather give it to my parents than to have Fun all by myself right?

T^T

Right now, Mixed emotions I'm 10000% H A P P Y and kinda depress at the same time.
Happy because finally their going to have a concert here in Philippines
and Depress because the concert ticket is too expensive.
haaay. How I wish I wasn't that poor :(

and oh! here's a screenshot of their video that leaked in social networking sites.

Harry is so cute!!! he did not talk in the video but his gesture says a lot! haha (lip biting) he just stand there, looking in the camera like a little boy doing a puppy eye and biting his lips and haaayyy he i so cute.

Happy 1st year Harry!

haha I feel so pathetic about this post but here it goes…

Happy 1^st year anniversary Harry Styles!!!

I had a crush on Harry Styles For a year!! wow

It’s been a year now, I remember it was November 2, 2012 when the Music video of “Little things” released and I did not watch it because our internet connection was slow and I wait for a good connection and that was past 12 midnight so it’s already November 3, 2012 .

Before the release of  ”little things” My favorite member of the group is Niall and I had a crush on Louis (is it possible?). But I like them all, though. When I watch the video and heard the song especially Harry’s Part I was like "rrskjndjdsfsns". I mean. his voice. The husky thing, I love it. it’s MAN-ish I mean in tagalog it’s “lalaking – lalaki” and that was nakaka kilig and nakaka inlove. I keep on repeating the song because of the lyrics and their voices.

uuuhhhh... Isn't he the cutest?? hihihi

A letter to Harry Styles :

Dear Harry,

 I know you don’t know me, I know you don’t even know I exist, and this “anniversary” thing was only in my mind. I know I’m not your “Biggest FAN” and I admit it. I don’t know what else to say, but I care for you, for One direction. I’m hoping the best for you and for the band.

That’s all I can say. I lock out of words. I know it’s not that heartwarming letter but it came from my heart <3

I'm IN LOVE with you and all these little things

 *PHOTOS ARE NOT MINE.

all from tumblr/tumblr bloggers :)

One Direction INFECTION.

(photos are not mine)

Just like those other girls. I've been infected by this VIRUS called

"ONE DIRECTION INFECTION"

I can't really help it.

well we can't deny That they are Good looking talaga but aside from that (their Good Looks.)

they are sweet and very Talented  teenagers- at heart haha Harry Is the only teenager left in the  group and soon to be 20 at February first next year, two days after my birthday, same year haha and that make sense I think that we are soul mates because of our birthday haha (pathetic.ME) haha But the older is only 21 and the others are 20. they are not that old. louis is 21, Zayn , Liam  and Niall is 20. (just saying)

before, i hate boy Bands. for me it was sooo Gay.

and I'm in-to Bands, rock or pop rock bands. (until now padin naman)

but after I saw them It changed. 

I realized that Boy bands are not so gay. 

they are not that typical Boy Band, They have something that everyone (not literally everyone, they also have their haters and it's okay we can't please everyone. whats important is their true supporters, their fans, and the ones that believes in them)They have something that every directioner (rather) loves. they have that CHARM

Now I understand.

And now I am open into different and variety of genre's .

the lesson I learned from past is to

"not judge artists by it's genre" haha ?!?!?!?!

I laugh, sorry. Is just that before I hate this band from my country which they play reggae and every time I hear them playing it keeps on annoying me.'But now I don't hate that band anymore and I am enjoying some reggae songs. 

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here are some of my favorite Photos of 

ONE DIRECTION.

"This Is Us" tour picture

live while were young music Video

 still Live while were young Music Video

Happy birthday Aaron Paul Q. Ricafrente

Happy Birtday to my 4 year Crush and soon to be 5 year on august haha

MY Favorite BASSIST for all time

the Only Bassist of Callalily Band

my forever Idol

Aaron Paul Quiñones Ricafrente

I remember when Im in high school I am such a big fan of callalily (until now) and ofcourse Aaron he's like my everything. it's not just crush it's super duper crush, like im really updated on whats happening in their lives especially aaron wheres the gig even though im not able to watch their gigs but i know where they are going. Gigs/shows, tv appearances, song hits, magazines, even his personal things like his girlfriends or ex girlfriends or the one's that he courted. like that and that's very important to me. back then.

my tweets for him and still he didn't notice me, he did not reply.haha but it's okay Im used to it. but he do reply me like three times when I Greet him a happy birthday i think 3 years ago on facebook haha.

our conversation last April 26 2012 

it's been three years ago, wow haha (naks conversation daw haha) 

And this happened May 1, 2010

three years ago din haha

 And my one and only, First and last picture so far with him.

sorry for the low quality of the photo but this is really important to me.

I hope I would get a chance to have a picture with him again :)

P.S

even if you did not notice me at everything, i will still forever be you fan,

I will Forever cherish you!

xxx

Bright Star :)

haha I wrote a poetry called BRIGHT STAR , last february 02, 2013

actually I start this last january and finished it at february.

It is Inspired by taylor swift's song superstar. the song superstar is a Life of a fan girl.

 So this comes up with the idea of the "life of a fan girl"

I'm so inlove with poetry's and I really really want to write. actually it's one of my wish list to write poems/poetry's.

yes, I"m a "FAN GIRL"

for ( One Direction, Callalily band, callalily's bassist and my four year crush haha Aaron Paul RIcafrente and Jb Paz sopiz's drummer, Ed Sheeran (baby),)

this is a story of a girl that falls for someone that she can't have.

This is a story of a fan girl

This is a story of me(bit)

hahaha

here is a scan of my hand writing

Here is Bright Star :)

for you

My Bright Star :)

secrete FAN of...

so yeah um ONE DIRECTION,formerly x factor finalists,they auditioned individually, and x factor form them as a group, (if im not mistaken) not really fan of boy bands but these guys, they change my vision in boy bands, before i consider boy bands as "BADUY" but not now really. their songs make the GIRLS kilig,  as i had watch and read about them they are so makukulit (jolly) even the oldest which is only 21y/o  Louis Tomlinson i think he is the most makulit and i admire him so so much.

                                                                     Louis Tomlinson

                                                                           Ed Sheeran
Edward Christopher Sheeran love his voice, so calm and the lyrics of his songs are so nakakakilig, his not the typical teenage heartthrob (as he says in an interview) that girls fall in love with , its his songs that makes the girls go wild, believe it or not he's only 21, he's just mature in his age but i dont care! im a fan!

OH THIS! i want it too!! a concert ticket of ed sheeran! (parangarap nalang) someday hahaha

yown! ngayon naman hindi na masyadong secrete dahil may nakaka alam na pero dati secrete pa sila .hahaha

few acts that i love. post more of my favorite acts one day